Saturday, August 30, 2003 @1:59 AM
"Hope is a waking dream."
---Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)
exams are over? so what's the big deal? i seriously don't feel anything. joy? no. relieve? no. happiness? no. numb? yes. why does it all not make such a huge difference to my life? i need a life. in search of one!
okay, skew lines. anyway, should recap my past few days. thursday was really crappy. harmony paper was... i don't know what to say. just used like a million primary chords. looked so easy. but i think there's some hidden trap in it. to mark me down. it was just a simple modulation from C major to G major. typical Haydn. and the german 6th chord was just so obvious. can't be so simple. i know it can't be. but the construction work outside the music centre was just driving me bananas. wanted to complain. but then just decided to leave it. i must say it really affected me because this was the only harmony paper where i had just enough time. practical was crazy. i was so nervous that everything turned upside down. plus i wasn't focused at all! maybe it's because of all the drilling going on outside. it was terrible. and dearest jeremy did me a great favour by turning pages for me. the wrong page at the wrong time. haha. only once. but it totally cracked me up. i was giggling to myself till the end of the movement. thank God it was the last movement of the last piece. jeremy, not blaming u ya? so don't blame yourself. i screwed up the prelims myself. thanks for pg turning for me! really, thanks! =) i must say that the madams were pretty nice and kind to me after the performance. they just told me to keep going. KEEP GOING!
then my classmates called me to tell me that they're going to invade orchard yet again. we went to marsches this time. they totally succeeded in dragging me there. reluctance was my inertia. i've eaten there a million times. just quite sick of the food. shared a pizza with amels. and it tasted quite good! then ate the strawberry crepes with vanilla brownie ice cream. (stop drooling!) yummy! it was great! it was quite a small group. but it was really fun. mark, amels, nick poa, debs, nicol, david charles and me! the topics of our conversation swayed from drama serials to people's eyebrows. it was hilarious! rich old Nicol then led us to kino to get his book, and then to taka to buy his chocolates! rich people really can afford to be extravagant. i wish i was as rich as he is. it's quite funny when people talk about him getting rich in the future, and he'll just retort, "i'm already rich. i don't have to get rich." it's just so cute, and not arrogant. it's probably the way he says it. nicol is so cute, like a teddy bear. haha. before he sits on me, i better shut up. =p
at night, i went for the chamber masterclass. and learnt a lot. really a lot. glad i went. i'm really happy that AC's faure quintet got into the concert on saturday, which is tmr, oh, no, it's today. really proud of them! well done guys! =) i then trudged home along. so sad. had to drag myself to the mrt station to take train. but i treated myself to mrs. fields since their muffins were only going at $2. i grabbed the double chocolate muffin. sinful? yes. but who cares?! actually, i do care, but i think i'll work it off. i think. =p
today, as in friday, was damn fun! even though i wandered around for like an hour in taka. looking for teacher's day stuff. realised that all the teacher's day cards were all so cliche. thus, i bought like 10 thank you cards in a pack kind. decided to decorate it myself and make it original! =) the creative me.
then i met jon and we were walking around aimlessly too. jon's brain was dead after two papers. and my brain was rusty after too much slacking and rest. so we just couldn't decide where to go. we were like, left or right? straight ahead or backwards? coffee bean or coffee club express? we ended up at coffee club. on the way to coffee club, i wanted to show Jon the Steinway showroom. and i met my ex piano teacher there! what a coincidence. she still remembers me! she even said that she met mrs wilson at some steinway conference and they spoke of me. gosh. that's quite scary. wished her "happy tcher's day". it was quite funny. she's still as nice as ever. =) then at coffee club, Jon ate cheesecake and tea while i had mocha. think the coffee there is really good. anyway, the focus of the coffee club trip was that we met DEYANA!!!!!! jon's senior from nj, 1st 3 months and my senior from TK! i was overjoyed to see her. deyana and i were like, XIN YI!!!! and DEYANA!!!! and we exchanged hugs. haha. and jon shakes his head, mumbling to himself, "girls..." hope we didn't embarass u jon. =p
dinner was at lido, topmost level. with the addition of emerald. we were catching "freaky friday" at 7.30pm. anyway, freaky friday was really cool. great show. it'll crack you up totally. great stress reliever! we were all damn satisfied with the show. cool flick. you people should go catch it!
today was really a "chill out" day for me. had a great time with Jon and emerald.
you know what i realised? i need a life. can't afford to keep watching sesame street. lala lala elmo song! ok, out of point, skew lines. but i think daniel got what i mean. =p
"Keep true to the dreams of thy youth."
---Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)
Wednesday, August 27, 2003 @6:58 PM
without even guessing, think everyone can tell that i crapped through my history paper! resorted to studying my teacher's outlines instead of reading her lengthy notes. SEA hist people in AC would understand what i'm talking about. but i must say her notes are damn detailed and overloading with case studies. very good for revision. not good for last minute cramming. just praying that my source based can save my life. well, i think i deserve the torture i had to endure through this 3 hour paper. simply because i didn't study as hard as i did for history paper 1. i had a great time doing paper 1 though. in fact, i thought it was quite fun! =)
i was real tired after the paper but had to drag myself to the music centre to practise for tomorrow's practical exam! today's technically my last day of exams, since the papers tmr and next tues don't need studying. but i don't feel anything at all! no feelings! numb! not even a tinge of excitement or happiness! quite queer. i wonder why! maybe it's just the prelims. i really don't feel anything! not even relieved! but i'm really looking forward to going out with my classmates, we were planning today, on whether we should go pulau ubin or east coast. haha. yes, we're really looking too far ahead? =) we were even thinking of how to trick nicol into going pulau unbin. haha. it was hilarious.
i better run off to practise now. so that i can put up a presentable performance tomorrow. by the way, the weinberg piano in "bach" is really getting from bad to worse. the keys sustain even when u're not holding it down. thank God it only happens occasionally. just hope that the madams will call in the piano man again to 'heal' the piano.other than the above complaints, i think the weinberg piano is actually quite nice. sensitive enough.
embracing the keyboard of the piano... flipping open to Schumann's Arabesque.
"Music isn't just learning notes and playing them, You learn notes to play to the music of your soul."
Monday, August 25, 2003 @11:50 PM
in a sleepy mood today. though i must admit i had a good night's rest yesterday, especially after talking to a friend. thanks dearie, you really helped lots. guess it's really great exchanging stories right? =) anyway, i just realised that i never talk bad about people. i just talk about the universal truth. to all who agree, breathe. =p
lit paper was fine today, other than Mrs C "confiscating" my Red Badge of Courage. Thank God i've already used it. but it really gave me a heart attack when she took my book away. took quite a while to focus on writing again. but then i was like heck. because i actually studied Red Badge. of all books, i sort of know Red Badge inside out. i'm really glad that this wasn't the As. thank you Mrs C for spotting the illegal annotations. at least i won't make the same mistake in the real exams.
i then went back to TK to meet emerald and min yu. i really miss that place. we went to make friends with the new music teacher too. she's real nice. Ms Ee i think. only 5 yrs my senior, burmingham music graduate. she's really nice. so sweet. to the current MEP ppl in TK: don't bully her ok? she's really nice! =)
then i headed to Marine Parade library to study. went up to the topmost level of the library, but just kept falling asleep. then decided to go down to starbucks to get some coffee. and it totally perked me up. was sitting in the somfy couch till like 8pm. then i headed home.
uneventful day today, but it's the trivial things that make life interesting. =)
"Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. ... God will bess you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel."
-- Philippians 4:6-7
and i'm off to lala land after looking through my SEA notes. =)
Sunday, August 24, 2003 @8:52 PM
i ought to thank people for providing me with the cheap thrills in life. or rather, the amatuer form of humour. life's never colourful without it. it's not as if teachers in school have never reminded students of making sure that their work is coherent. coherence is the key to everything. contradiction doesn't make any sense. spelling errors don't take top priority. who cares about spelling errors when u've crafted a beautifully conherent piece of work. perhaps when one can't get anywhere, trivial things like spellings errors are worth commenting. well, maybe that's the difference between an AC arts student as compared to some other schools. our teachers rock!!! well, maybe your teachers are good too, but nothing goes into your head. oops. did i just say that? my heart feels for your intelligence. or rather, so-called intelligence. i totally agree you're a person with lots of depth. so much depth like an empty well. depth with emptiness surmounts to nothing by the way. that was just a little note to you in case you didn't know. hope u've received enlightenment. oh yes, the word "perhaps" simply exposes everything. that of doubt, uncertainty and somehow knowing that you simply not of my calibre. speaking about civilised behaviour, i never hit people aimlessly. i always hit them right on the bull's eye. it's ironic that you didn't term yourself as barbaric since you admit to hitting people for fun. i think my arrow shot through the heart. oh wait a second, it really did. =)
people who are wondering what i'm doing online before a lit paper, it's good pracitice for me! i enjoy it as much as doing pracitical criticism. just that it's so much easier and of such an amatuer level. brainless stuff. i reserve my brain juices for tmr's paper! and the coming papers to come! and also on managing my life. i feel pity for those who have brains, but have yet to used them. knock knock! it's time to squeeze it out! =p
piano lesson was great. corrected quite a number of stuff, but i think i should be okay for the prelims practical. which is great! oh yes, i have yet to acknowlegde how Betty and Leonard cracked me up yesterday at the esplanade. you guys rock! you're the best seniors! i can say for sure that emerald and i were really de-stressed! really hope to see you guys around more often. =)
i'm off to go read my books. for i do absorb unlike some people. absorb useful stuff. just got to explain in case people misreads.
some friends don't help, but a true friend is closer than your own family.
-- Proverbs 18:24
@11:55 AM
it's queer how people like to decieve themselves. am i green with envy? maybe she should go dig out more from my friends. that i'm absolutely glad that i'm free from someone's clutches. and am leading a happy life with lots of people loving me. staying away from esplanade's the last thing i'll ever do since i'm a true blue music student who needs to frequent the esplanade for resources. you can go develop that phobia of that place for all i care. the esplanade's a wonderful place, and sorry, i'm not going to stop frequenting that place. speaking of making the first move? i was just wondering what is there that people at my table can't hear. if u're really sincere, why not just come to my table for a "nice" chat? contradiciting yourself? yes, i think so. please do re-check your writings before posting them. one piece of advice that might do u guys good. quit being "angelic" and a concerned samitarian. i know what i know. facts are facts and reality is reality. so come back to the real world.
by the way, thought i saw you guys having some serious talk outside esplanade. i chanced by it. i never would want to see something like that. looks like things weren't going too well. but hope everything's solved by now so that you guys can lead your "happy" life. oh yes, one more thing, don't fret about me anymore. i've got lots of other great companions in my life. and as i've said before, and i'll say again, i don't think the small, insignificant me will matter in your lives. =)
"Happiness depends upon ourselves."
--Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)
"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet."
--James Oppenheim
have a great sunday everyone! =)
@9:08 AM
yesterday(saturday) was supposedly a great day for me. "supposedly". woke up pretty early and went to esplanade to study with emerald and i met brena there! so i ended up studying with her. haven't seen her for quite some time. feels great to see her again! studying was sooooo productive! i studied for my war lit paper. but my "productivity level" declined after i switched to SEA hist. i started to lose my focus and my eyes began to wander around. and while on the phone with brena (cos she went to eat lunch with her friend!), i saw people who almost gave me sore eyes. gosh! ok, i shan't be so bad. but i just wasn't really prepared to see them. why do i need to be prepared to see them? don't interrogate me. i do not know. it still hurts. as they walk past, i felt like i was in a world of darkness. indescribable. well, noone noticed they walked past other than me. of all people, i had to notice. and also recognise his "hello" smile. gosh! how bad can life be? i just felt so terrible. totally terrible. it's been a long time, i know. but there are memories too. pleasant and lousy ones. somehow, lousy memories seem to hit me harder than the good ones. tried not to think about it anymore and thus decided to go walk around the lib. so i walked out and wanted to go to the washroom. and guess who i saw?! saw the both of them in front of the escalator, having some serious conversation. she looked really pissed and he looked like he was pacifying her. in fact, she looked like she was crying. (but who cares?!)anyway, i was so confused as to if i should walk past them or just take the lift down. i was walking to and fro, to and fro, to and fro, wondering if i should just heck and walk past them. well, i did. don't think they saw me anyway. then i went up the escalator again after going to the washroom. tried to walk as fast as i could. my heart was pounding like mad inside when i walked past them. why? i do not know. i really do not know. i shouldn't be the one avoiding them since i did nothing wrong. i've got a clear conscience. wonder who's the one who haven't got a good heart? i just felt really terrible after seeing them. and then bravo, he msged me, saying that he wants to talk to me in private. i was like ???!!!. whatever for?! you guys are in your own happy world, and that's good for you. i don't care what you people do. whether you guys create your own sphere and make people bounce off the sphere or invite willling people into your sphere, i don't care. i just don't wish to be part of anything anymore. so leave me out of it! i've got nothing to say to you, and i don't think u've got anything to say to me. so we're quits. get it? acting nice doesn't give you brownie points i'm afraid. so save your efforts. leave me out the picture and you'll be happy and so will i be. why do u want to talk to me?! why? remain in your world with your beloved. i repeat, i don't give a heck what you guys do. i really don't. i don't want to know either. i know you guys have got this idealistic mindset of "can we still be friends", but come back to reality people. i'm not saying it's impossible, but not in the near future. i don't care even if people deem you guys as kind hearted and concerned and me as narrow minded and petty. though most people know that it's not true. most people know how much pain i've been through. how much hurt u guys have put forth to me. and how much i do not want to be a part of you two anymore. the world ain't that small. don't you guys have your own circle of friends? does an insignificant me really matter? i would think not. so just leave me out of your little game. i hope to move on. i know i should have, long time ago, but it's tough. i know a lot of truly concerned people out there have been worried about me. sorry to make you people worry. i'm fine, just a little shaken by the whole thing. i will move on. just a matter of time.
priority goes to my prelims and the upcoming A level exams. getting good results is not that hard really. just work for it and i believe i'll reap what i sow. sorry, curses seldom work. and i'll prove to you that i will eventually make it to a good university. i wish u luck in your studies to. and as for the other you, i wish u luck in life.
to happier events, i went down to PS to watch a band. it was some charity event for the straits times pocket fund. desmond told us to go down. and we met warin and her friends there! i saw hui wen there too! what a coincidence. we were all supporting desmond too. haha. what a small world. anyway, the band was great. desmond was a fantastic pianist. it's just so him! they really look like they were enjoying themselves! which was great! i love their jazz songs! you guys were great! well done desmond!
after a mind boggling day, i decided to go home.
i'm off to sit on my piano bench and play piano till it's time for my lesson. take care all!
The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold then in the right scale of values.
-Norman Thomas (1884 - 1968)
*it's not really a secret anymore is it? =)
Saturday, August 23, 2003 @2:56 AM
yes yes, i re-changed my blog address since the previous site refuses to publish my recent blogs. so do make the necessary changes ok ppl? thanks a million. sorry for all the trouble! ----->NOTE!: to ppl who have already changed it, i'm super duper sorry.. pls change back ya? super sorry!!! it's http://iynix.blogspot.com
anyway, i'm up at this unearthly hour of 2.36am on a saturday. why? i've got no idea. was just reading blogs after blogs, talked to people online. and now i'm talking to jeremy. after reading numerous blogs that have got nothing to do with my life, as in really really non sequitor, i realised how fragile life is, how infatuated people can get, and how tomorrow will probably never come. also, another totally different dimension of people i've never seen. it's just amazing. i think i probably wasted lots of time and could have used this time to cover two lecture topics of my history. but i did learn some stuff. did i? =)
today was an ok day. not too fantastic. wanted to go down esplanade today to borrow some stuff but just couldn't drag myself to the MRT station since the bus stop is just 100m away from my house. so i took a bus to YMCA macs to study. before deciding on that, i had numerous options. Nick asked me to go marine parade lib to study wif him. then emerald's at YMCA macs waiting. and i was supposed to drop by esp to borrow stuff. in the end, i just went ymca. will leave esp to another day. sorry nick! left u by urself to study. hope u had a productive day today! our notes are really hard to read right? but content wise is probably the best among all the jcs! =)
then emerald and i went to the YMCA cafe to settle our dinner. it was funny how she ended up with a damn small serving and i had a huge one. she was complaining throughout the whole dinner. quite funny. she was really quite pissed that she wasn't full. but then again, when was she ever full? (sorry em! =P) as she wasn't full, we went to orchard BK, the one beside orchard emerald. it was damn funny how we tried to find it when it was only 50m away from us. just turn left instead of turning right! damn funny. we were really dodo birds. studied a bit more, then went home. was damn tired and slept on the bus and missed my stop. reached home at 10.40pm to catch the last part of amazing race. the gay couple won! haha. i wonder what that's supposed to mean. i'll leave it to you guys to interpret that. =)
it's 2.52am. Happy 18th birthday to Zhiwei! i'm off to try and finish up one lecture of my history! wish me luck! take care all!
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
~ Josh Billings ~
Thursday, August 21, 2003 @10:10 PM
i had my lit paper today. the shakespeare and dickens' paper. knew it was going to be bad since i didn't really studied for it. only studied dickens. i was totally doing prac crit for shakespeare. and was really tied up for time. 1 hour per essay. had to write 3. was on the verge of giving up when i started the third one, but i just kept going. sitting on my left was Jen, who wrote like damn fast, half an essay ahead of me. and on my right was Zhiwei, 1 side behind me. then i looked at Nicol, who was diagonally in front of me. he's about the same speed as Jen. then i started panicking. but i realised that Zhiwei wasn't really panicking. so i remained calm. Zhiwei, of all people, don't use me to pace you. use nicol!!! it was quite funny how zhiwei was peering over at my scripts to see how much i've written and me looking over once in a while to reassure myself that nicol and jen are insane creastures who just keep writing non-stop. it's incredible how they do it. no planning, no nothing, just open the paper and start writing. while i was still planning my first essay, Jen had already done one side of his first essay. that guy's insane.
lunch with my class was cool!!! we went Dan Ryans and i thought the place was fabulous! food was value for money! only 10 bucks for a meal i'll never finish. it was sooooo filling and sooooo meaty. felt quite sinful after eating that. then we tricked the management that it was zhiwei's birthday! ok, we didn't trick them. zhiwei's birthday is really coming up by the way. so it didn't matter. but we still had to pay for the cake. sang a great birthday song for him! it had been a long time since the class gathered together. people who were there were namely, liling, nicol, nick poa, amels, wendy, liza, mags, mark, maurice, matthew, salman, zhiwei, boon hua, david charles and me! a pretty big group. it felt like prelims was over!!! but reality hits hard as we realise that there's still one more week of prelims to go through!!! stay cool everyone! we then took a half an hour walk to Sal's house under the scorching sun! told them to take bus but everyone refused to listen and they ended up complaining. but Sal's house was damn cool. we watched "Will & Grace", some gay comedy show. was damn funny! laughed my hearts out! Sal's place was real comfy and cool. Thanks sal for the kind hospitality!!! you rock!!!
realised that i need to organise my time for next week's papers. Hist P2 will be a BIG paper. heard that the paper is quite hard. oh well, just gotta start studying like now!
Cheerio!
Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's finger.
~ Hans Christian Anderson ~
Wednesday, August 20, 2003 @1:05 AM
MEP paper today was really bad. i though aural was ok until we started fighting over whether it was a horn or trumpet concerto. i say it's horn and so does the rest, other than one. and i think i'm right. or rather, we all hope that we're right. and, couldn't finish my 30 mark essays despite writing 4 sides and 6 sides. like what's new? i still don't get how our seniors can finish the whole entire paper within that 2 and a half hours. leonard makes it sound possible with lots of practice. well, i should think so. so basically, what people do is that they regurgitate everything? i must say i hate that kind of studying. but i guess we have to be exam smart don't we? was aiming a triple C even though my teacher targeted a triple B for me. sigh. wonder if i'll still be able to reach that triple C. probably not. as they always say, peak during your As, not prelims. i'm trying to look on the brighter side. the whole entire MEP class was so depressed and zonked out after the paper. i was totally zombified. especially after two hard core essay papers in cosecutive days. Hist and MEP. i've only got 1/4 of ink left in my new pen. that's how much i wrote just in those 2 days. don't even bother counting how many trees we have killed.
i went to kino after my paper to look for the dictionary on literary terms. and bought like stupid study guides to study for my shakespeare. not like it'll help a lot, but it'll be good for crashing last minute stuff i think. the study guides probably won't help in the long run since Mrs Creffield will be back teaching us. she beats any study guide out there. and i think what i just said was an understatement.
then i came home and slept from 3 to 9pm. think my mom tried to wake me up for dinner but she failed. i was really zonked out. could hardly move. it's time for Dickens and Shakespeare. Cheerio!
"Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away."
Tuesday, August 19, 2003 @1:00 AM
first day of prelims. GP and history paper 1. totally drained of ALL the energy left in me. i slept at like 12, woke up at bout 3, feeling uneasy about everything and just kept studying. i guess studying too hard doesn't really help. u've got to study just the right amount. i think i'll do ok for my nationalism and napoleon essay, but it's almost bye bye to my lenin essay. screwed up certain facts, confused russian rev with post germany unification. the anti-catholic laws that lenin imposed, i termed it 'kultakampf'! argh! almost killed myself. only realised the bloody mistake when Ms Ng took my scripts. i was like "thanks". argh! argh! *regains composure* well, at least source-based was ok. hope i can hit a level 6 - to make up for my lenin essay. i wrote a total of 4 plus 6 plus 4 plus 4 sides. 18 sides. 9 pieces of paper. in 3 hours. i just kept writing and writing. even up to the point of i didn't really know what i was churning out, but i just kept writing. i felt quite good after the paper though, other than the stupid german and russian mix up. and my stupid head hurting. i then went to the music centre, to study for tmr's MEP paper. was soooo drained that NOTHING could go in. hence, i slept for a while after copying notes from min yu's revision bk. i think both girls could tell that i was damn tired. i swear that i'm going to sleep for like 12 hours after this coming MEP paper. can't wait for it to be over. another essay writing exam. damn tired. now it's time to memorise beethoven, spohr, weber, liszt, schumann and saint saens. God give me strength.
'God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.' --- Psalm 46:1-2
Sunday, August 17, 2003 @10:51 AM
A Student's Prayer --- St. Thomas Aquinas
Creator of all things,
true source of light and wisdom,
origin of all being,
graciously let a ray of your light penetrate
the darkness of my understanding.
Take from me the double darkness
in which I have been born,
an obscurity of sin and ignorance.
Give me a keen understanding,
a retentive memory, and
the ability to grasp things
correctly and fundamentally.
Grant me the talent
of being exact in my explanations
and the ability to express myself
with thoroughness and charm.
Point out the beginning,
direct the progress,
and help in the completion.
I ask this through Christ our Lord.
Amen.
Saturday, August 16, 2003 @2:21 PM
2 more days to prelims! 2 more days before the 1st terrible week of my exams begin. BUT, after the first week, i'll be as happy as a lark! Since the papers in the 2nd week don't really need much studying. Life has been studying, studying, studying, studying.
i must say the present council is doing a great job! bringing milo to the j2s while we're studying! thank you so much our dearest j1s! plus the board in the void deck. it's so motivating. really. u guys rock! keep up the good work! studying in school has been really pleasant with u guys making our days!!! i'm sure we enjoyed the milo and biscuitS! right wendy? right debs? =)
a total of 34 hours more to go before the scariest paper, history. i've said it before, and i'll say it again. thanks a million to Charles! for helping us sooo much. For all the stick cartoons u drew at the end of our essays! For staying back late to do consultations with us! For all the motivation you have given us. Thank you so much!!! As Charles quotes,
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." - Eleanor Roosevelt
as we all study hard for the prelims. i pray that all my friends and classmates get enough rest. drink hot milo!
study hard everyone! we'll all get through this together!
"we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us" (Philippians 4:13).
God Bless all!
Wednesday, August 13, 2003 @1:12 AM
Saint Saens' cello concerto in A minor totally drove me buts y'day when i analysed it. he's just extremely thematically unified that we couldn't find any "thematic metamorphosis" through the concerto. and the 1st theme is totally stuck in my head. the triplet thing, with off beat accents and stuff. he just has 8 themes that so totally doesn not link unless you really squeeze motifs out of it. of which, i wouldn't even call them motifs. sorry saint saens, you can't beat Liszt in thematic transformation. he's the ultimate. the master of the art of thematic transformation - Liszt. we sorta did tchaikovsky piano and violin concerto last week. i must say that tchai has the gift for lyricism. his themes are just astoundingly magnificent and glorious, especially that 107 measures of the opening of the piano concerto. though it doesn't link to any other parts of the concerto, that introduction is just simply so glorious. and no, the soloist doesn't bang the chords, he embraces the chords written for the solo piano. it's just wonderful. a pity tchai doesn't structure his work. really a pity. (i know a lot of sweeping statements are made here. just ignore them if u don't agree with it.)
studying today was quite productive. gonna do another 2 essays cos i really don't have much time left. don't even dare to count down. as i fade into the shadow of my pile of books, i'll leave you guys with one quote.
"Learning how to learn is life's most important skill" --- Tony Buzan
God Bless all!
Monday, August 11, 2003 @10:48 PM
guess wat? i'm still in school! yes, at this unearthly hour! waiting for min yu to pack up and say "OK, let's go!"
quite tired. totally mugged the entire nationalism today. glad that i got it done, including the aftermath of unification. during the course of the day, i did one history essay too. today's averagedly productive. though it's not one of my best days. wondering if i should go down for wednesday's syo chamber concert. it'll be Jon's last concert. can't decide if i should go. cos i think i've got quite a lot to study for. but then, tt's the only day i can pass jon his "thing". how? someone decide for me! if only Jon wasn't leaving so early. also, news came from MINDEF for shao wen that he's allowed to leave singapore for further studies. i'm happy for him, but at the same time sad that's he's leaving. then we'll be short of one dancing queen! (only mep ppl get what i mean)
finally. am going home now. take care everyone! God bless!
~-i'm at home now-~
anyway, i've decided to go for the concert cos it'll really be jon's last concert. i'll see what i can do with my studies. maybe i'll stay up later tmr to study. i certainly do hope Jon likes the "thing" me, emmy, jeremy and selwyn has gotten for him.
oh yes, remembered that my class teacher is going for an operation tmr. he claims his body is malfunctioning. i pray that all will be well and the operation will be a success. wish him a speedy recovery too!
Sunday, August 10, 2003 @8:54 PM
Beautiful Sunday!
Going through a list of mundane stuff wouldn't be everyone favourite reading material. but i'm still going to do it cos i feel like i haven't actually done mundane stuff for quite some time. what irony.
woke up at bout 9am. which is quite early on my sundays. andrew was supposed to call me at 8am but he didn't. i think he overslept. Thank God i woke up early enough to practise my violin and piano. if u guys still dunno, i've got piano and violin lessons in a row every sunday afternoon. afterwhich, i'l be super drained.
anyway, lessons were pretty fun today. my bridge sorta went out of place and i didn't even know until ms ku screamed :"woman! did u knock ur violin into something?" i was like "obviously not!" this was when i got a heart attack. luckily it wasn't a big shift. thought my lower strings didn't sound that muffled anymore aft we shifted the bridge back to it's original place. sorta settled my repertoire again. bach partita, beethovwn romance in G major, schumann, barber. (mayb will include a walton) we'll see how things go. =)
piano lesson was quite fun. mr ku said it sounded better than last week! HOoRAY!!! but still not up to standard yet la. then he made me play through my schumann. was quite a flop though. cos i've been concentrating on other pieces. hope lesson with Ms leong tmr will be fine. =)
that's about it for my sunday. pretty boring, but had extremely fruitful music lessons!
time to get back to my books. take care all!
@12:09 AM
You come from Heaven. You're the purest of pure, a
saint. You're probably an angel sent directly
from Heaven.
Where Did Your Soul Originate? brought to you by Quizilla
Music, the greatest good that mortals know, And all of heaven we have below.
--Joseph Addison
(sorrie for the third entry of the day... just can't help myself!)
this is kind of a reflection thing to me.
i must say life has been good to me. true colours are finally shown. the good and the bad.
it's amazing how some people deceive themselves that they have been the almighty angel who has been doing everything that's justified and morally right. they even think that they're a blessing to the world. i seriously wonder how they do that despite knowing that they have been a pest to the human kind. or maybe they just do not know. Live in their own world i say, remain in your realm of the topsy turvy, where you turn everything to your favour. Never come back to reality, because you are not ready nor are you willing to accept the truth. the truth is that you have never made the world a better place no matter how accomodating others are. the fact is how contradicting you always are to yourself. irony centralises in your life. and paradoxes are placed second. which is pretty sad. i'm sorry to remind you of that. the world is indeed unfair and unjust. but that's life. and your pure existence doesn't exactly make the world a better place. well, credit has to be given to you that you shown us what man can truly be capable of. things that have never ever crossed my mind. maybe i was too naive and innocent. i have been. Thank God i've learnt my lesson. taking responsibilities of your own actions is not an easy task. however, i feel that one shouldn't proclaim that statement if he/she doesn't mean it. life's full of paradoxes. especially yours. i mourn for you. i pray for the day you recieve enlightenment. seriously, i'll pray for God's grace to be blessed upon you.
And though you might say these nasty things, being a child of God, i'll still forgive you.
as said in the bible. "forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sinned against us."
2003 has been a great year for me so far, with my string ensemble performing at the esplanade to a full house and also clinching their first ever GOLD award! and the wonderful juniors God had blessed me with. they're so sweet! i love u guys! Also, my friends who have been so delightful and so true to me. i wouldn't have survived without all your concern. teachers have been an inspirational lot too! my class teacher, for whom without his little motivations, i wouldn't be inspired to work hard. also, all the subject teachers who have been kind to me! Also, my wonderful classmates who're so competitive and has gotten me into the studying mood. u guys rock! we really know how to play hard and study hard huh? i love u guys too! everyone out there who has in some way or another, crossed the path of my life, you have left something significant in me. good or bad memories, it doesn't really matter. as long as you have taught me something about life. i thank all who have truly played a part in creating who i am today.
all i want to think about now is to study hard and to excel in my As, which i WILL.
and also attain something meaningful in the music scene.
"Music creates order out of chaos: for rhythm imposes unanimity upon the divergent, melody imposes continuity upon the disjointed, and harmony imposes compatibility upon the incongruous."
--Yehudi Menuhin
Thank God for all his blessings unto me this yr. May Father in heaven continue to bless all on Earth.
Saturday, August 09, 2003 @9:40 PM
today was super duper unproductive. i did practically nothing other than panic. i've got only 8 more days left to doomsday. God save me!
i shall be more productive and start working now. will prob work thru the night and start on Lit paper 1. Othello, Antony and Cleopatra and Hard Times! Shakespeare and Dickens.
"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --- Albert Einstein
Hope mine's a miracle.
@12:56 PM
"NATIONAL DAY SPECIAL: 60 SIGNS YOU�RE A TRUE SINGAPOREAN
Posted on Sunday, August 03, 2003
Topic: Local News
by Kway Png
It�s not enough if you pay taxes or carry a pink IC. To commemorate National Day, TalkingCock.com brings you a checklist to see how Singaporean you really are.
1. Thanks to SMS, you have an extra large thumb.
2. Tks 2 SMS, u oso dun no how 2 spel n e mor.
3. You pat MRT and bus seats to cool them before you sit down.
4. At lunch, you start discussing what to eat for dinner.
5. Your wedding photos include shots of you dressed up like Louis XIV, Michael Jackson, or Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in Titanic.
6. When speaking to foreigners, you somehow feel a need to adopt an accent. (If you�re a DJ, this happens even when you�re not speaking to foreigners.)
7. You won�t raise your voice to protest policies, but you�ll raise your fists to whack someone over Hello Kitty.
8. You�re forever talking about businesses you want to set up but will probably never get around to starting.
9. You don�t know � of the people attending your wedding.
10. You separate food into 2 basic groups: �heaty� and �cooling�.
11. You�re never completely sure how many times you�ve sung the second verse of the National Anthem.
12. You think that what makes you �married� is not the legal registration but whether you�ve thrown a 12 course dinner.
13. You marry for the real estate breaks.
14. You have kids for the tax advantages.
15. You move to where you want your child to go to school.
16. You feel you can�t walk around naked in your own flat.
17. You force your children to take Speech & Drama classes, but pray they won�t wind up in Arts later on.
18. You suddenly realize you�re very interested in biotech - just like you suddenly realized three years ago that you were very interested in e-commerce, and before that, engineering, and before that, medicine and law.
19. You think being an entrepreneur is setting up a bubble tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop right next to an existing bubble tea/Portuguese egg tart/gao luck/porridge shop.
20. You think people are inconsiderate when they don�t leave their table immediately after eating at the food court but think you have every right to take 25 bites to finish the last red bean in your ice kachang.
21. You find it impossible to make suggestions without drawing a fishbone chart first.
22. If you�re a guy, whenever you get together with your guy friends, you invariably trade army stories.
23. If you�re a girl, whenever you get together with your girl friends, you invariably trade stories about how your stupid guy friends are forever trading army stories.
24. You think the most important sporting event in Singapore this year was David Beckham switching from Manchester United to Real Madrid.
25. You somehow feel that food tastes better when eaten by a longkang.
26. It actually makes a difference to you being called an �NSMan� rather than a �Reservist�.
27. You�ve eaten more times at the Esplanade than you�ve actually seen shows there.
28. You need campaigns to tell you how to be courteous, to flush toilets, have sex, etc.
29. When you visit the Zoo, you wonder what the animals taste like.
30. You feel the urge to add the suffix �-polis� to everything, viz. Biopolis, Airtropolis, Fusionopolis, Entrepolis, etc.
31. You always feel oddly hungry at 11 pm, and are willing to drive to far away places for supper.
32. You meet in hotels a lot.
33. Your children have a rudimentary knowledge of Tagalog or Bahasa Indonesia.
34. You work at McDonald�s when you�re old rather than young.
35. You�ll gladly spend $50,000 on a car, but will go to great lengths to save a few bucks on ERP charges or even a few cents on a parking coupon.
36. Pork floss and mayonnaise on bread is a completely natural combination to you.
37. If you�re pregnant, you have the strange ability to make people on the MRT fall asleep instantly.
38. You ask for the bill by miming a signing movement.
39. You�ve started referring to foreign employees as �talent� instead of �expatriates�.
40. At the dinner table, you�re always discussing which other food places serve better versions of what you�re eating.
41. You copy down licence plate numbers of cars involved in accidents.
42. You think your boyfriend doesn�t really love you unless he gives you part of his liver.
43. During sales, you book hotel rooms near malls to enable you to shop more efficiently.
44. You pronounce the letter �R� as �ah-rer� and the letter �H� as �haytch�.
45. No matter how old you are, you keep associating people with their secondary schools. (alternative: No matter how old you are, you secretly need to know what other people got for their PSLE, O levels and A levels.)
46. You�re always on a quest for the definitive version of your favourite local dish.
47. When you explain things to people, you keep (a) using alphabets, and (b) speaking in point form.
48. You believe that you can generate �creativity� through rules and committees.
49. You �chope� a seat by placing a packet of tissues on the chair.
50. You�re very forthright with your criticisms of the Gahmen, unless there�s a chance they might actually hear you.
51. You diligently track the whereabouts of your favourite hawkers, i.e..you know that the famous Tiong Bahru Bao is now in Jurong, the famous Outram Char Kuay Teow is now in Hong Lim Centre and the famous Lau Hock Kien Hokkien mee from the old Lau Pa Sat is now at Beach Road.
52. Your mother probably can�t speak your �mother tongue�.
53. You�d rather drink your own pee than pay someone more for water.
54. You secretly find that the best part of the Speak Good English Movement is hearing the Singlish bits in their ads.
55. You have an automatic sensor in your head which categorizes people you meet into stayer/ quitter, cosmopolitan/heartlander, normal/ express/ gifted, etc.
56. You think we�re living in a modern, sophisticated country even when our leaders still insist on wearing their school uniforms.
57. You wish your constituency is in a walkover, because otherwise it�s damn �leceh�.
58. During elections, you decide that there is no credible opposition even though you don�t know the name of the opposition candidate in your constituency.
59. You think having a constitution is like the condition you get when you don�t eat enough fibre.
60. You can never quite remember what �the core values� of Singaporeans are."
i thought the above was quite appropriate for today... Happy National Day everyone! =)
@12:39 PM
sometimes i wonder why people always contradict themselves and are such hyocrites. "i hope we still can be friends" yes. VERY friends. all they do is to keep guessing. and damn their usage of vulgarities. calling ppl "bitchy" etc. damn those people who keep thinking that they are so righteous and that the whole world is with them. and that every action they have done was ever so justified. hypocrites! hypocrites! go live in your own world! and NEVER come back to reality! not like i give a damn about u guys! i wonder why people go onto the wrong path even though they're conscious of the consequences. the human race is complicated. esp the relationships involved. complex and terribly incoherent.
sorry for the above outburst. can't help myself. anyway, today i went to eat lunch wif Shaun at Ponderosa! we had the buffet at half price cos his dad owns tt place! damn cool! met up wif Shaun cos he's leaving for Boston on the 19th. 19 august. wish him all the best in his studies over there! he'll be there got 4 yrs!
then went to esplanade to study with emerald and boon hua. wasn't very productive but did some discussions on some hist essay qns which kinda set my mind back to work. people who tried to be inconspicuous didn't exactly succeed. guess they were just too damn obvious and were trying too hard. i'm sorry u failed in hiding! muahahah.. ( i usually don't laugh like that.. just felt like doing so) though my eyes are big, they might not be very sharp but my other friends have got sharp eyes! =)
by the way, i'm pretty touched at wat wonderful friends i've got and how much concern they're showing me. thanks guys! u know who u are.. so ya.. thanks a million.
prelims are up in a week. feeling worried, but not that stressed. and i'm spotting questions like nobody's business. i pray that all will be well. ok, back to doing essays. motivating myself to do 3 essays for Charles. spking of Charles, if only people were as kind and as giving as Charles. the world would be a much much better place.
take care everyone!
(by the way, this was written y'day, just that blogger refused to publish it..)
Wednesday, August 06, 2003 @12:18 AM
You are Snow White!
What Disney Princess are you? brought to you by Quizilla
haha...taking dumb quizzes kinda de-stresses me.. well..not like it helps much.
here's another quiz.. sorrie to everyone reading my blog.. i really needed an avanue to destress
You are Jean Grey!
Beautiful and smart, you are still just beginning
to fulfill your potential. You have a strong
sense of right and wrong, but are open to
discussion and changes of opinion.
Unfortunately, when it comes to love you are
often torn between two options, and can never
seem to make up your mind.
Which X-Men character are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla
a good reason to destress would be doing 3 hours of saint saens.. it kinda drives me nuts and the 1st theme of the cello concerto is still stuck in my head. yes, the one with triplets. Humming tchaikovsky piano concerto doesn't help either cos it's stuck in my head too, especially the 107 measures opening, which doesn't belong to anywhere in the concerto. and Brahms' crazy trill concerto also drives me bananas. why trills all the way?!?!
Saint saens for 3 hours today. a pity we're not doing the violin concerto, though i think it's like zillion times more strightforward in terms of form and structure. To all who are panicking now cos of prelims, don't worry. Prelims are meant to freak us out anyway.
a thrillion thanks to Charles, our alumni, who came back to tutor us history. u really helped me and my friends damn a lot. thanks! will prob be looking u up for more consultations.. i need it.. =)
signing off here to do my work..
God Bless everyone! =)
Saturday, August 02, 2003 @6:58 PM
i did this quizilla thing on which sch i belonged to... and i wonder how right this thing can be.. check it out..
YOU ARE AN Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) BOY!
You are a sweet-natured person, though constantly
seeking attention and affirmation from your
peers. You are not very hard working...
Which Singapore School are YOU FROM? brought to you by Quizilla
@5:27 PM
it has been a week of studying. did like a zillion lit essays this week. and finished one new pen. that's how much ink an arts student can "consume".. don't even bother about asking how much writing paper we use. we just like killed the rainforest in arizona. (i have no idea how that links.) anyway,i'll jsut recap what happened through the week.
Monday: studying in school till like 1030pm. quite insane right?? but prelims are coming in three weeks! totally freaked out.. oh yes, and i also did a lit assignment for prac crit.. Mrs C needed it.. i hope she doesn't mark it cos it's totally disorganised and the points are all over the place!plus i didn't finish it even though it was 5 sides. see how disorganised i am? speaking of being disorganised, one should just take a peep in my bag. it's incorrigible. i need to get more organised!
Tuesday: stayed in school till like 11pm. insanity. yes, i think so too. i need to be more organised!
Wednesday: had a lit writing test. wrote 2 essays in 3 hrs. brought my whole stack of books for the test and thus had to carry it around. Attended my teachers' concert with the pile of books and people kept asking me if i had a problem. as in mental problem. yes yes, i guess the pile of books made me look like a nerd! even my teachers were like "wow! didn't know u read that much" err.. i don't have a choice. Anyway.. the concert was great. trout was fantastic.. and i love ms ku's tone. wonder why my tone's not half as nice as hers.. well, of course i know it's because of my bow hold, arm weight and the list goes on.
Thursday: i don't remember what happened. give me a second.. i need to think. oh yes.. how can i forget?! it's 31 july! emerald's birthday! me and daniel met aft sch to do a card for her.. haha.. me and dan are full of nonsense so i don't think our card made ANY sense at all. she treated us at this italian restaurant in holland v. i must say the pizza was good. Thanks Emerald! then we treated emmy to an earthquake at Swensons.. haha.. she almost died. but she did finish it. =) hope emmy enjoys the MOGU pillow we got her. u're just damn damn damn lucky u know??.. i'm so jealous! =p hope emmy did enjoy her day!
Friday: stayed back in school to study too but not till late.cos i was zonked out by all the staying up to study and staying up to do the lit presentation. another reason for staying in school was to wait for my book. zhon carelessly brought my handel score home. don't ask me why. had to wait for him to deliver it back to school. Thank God i realised he took it. stupid boy!
Saturday (today): woke up at 7am, then slept again and woke up at 12noon. imagine all the time i've wasted. can't waste time anymore. time to get back to my books and write the string article for the AC sch annual.
Studying's inevitable though it seems contrived. (only at times)
