Saturday, March 31, 2007 @12:45 AM
What a LOUSY week, BUT...Got back religion essay and was terribly disappointed, expected myself to do better because this is something I've done before in Soci of Religion. Looks like it didn't turn out well at all. We went as a group to collect the papers, and all of us got like low Bs and Cs, so you can imagine how it felt like the sky just dropped on me when I saw my grade. Then marathon of essays to write. Completed 3 this week, and took a test on Monday - which was more or less a test of "e-ni-my-ni-mi-ni-mo".. But that turned out alright.
Then just today, I decided not to go for Religion lecture cos I was so tired. Like falling asleep during bible and christianity tutorial while watching the breaking of the da vinci code. I was sooo tired that I kept nodding off. And it's not like I didn't sleep last night. Oh well...
After quartet rehearsal, dt passed me the ralph lauren polo shirt, the one I was sooo looking forward to wearing! And you know what? I lost it. Where, how, when, why? I DON'T KNOW! So upon realizing after coaching that I didn't have it with me, I went to CFA, went to YST to look for it. But I was utterly disappointed again. Sigh... It felt like the entire world collapsed on me. Really. I tell you, this is ONE thing that you have to experience yourself, cos no words can express how I'm feeling right now. The feeling of how useless I am, how careless I am, how forgetful I am, and how utterly LOUSY I am. Now the only hope is that I left it in Leslie's studio. But then again, I'm not very hopeful about this.
It's just an accumulation of things, of emotions that just totally broke it.
BUT...Thank God for my lovely DG. For Shereen, Terri, Jessie, Suma, Jody. Now I know that I'm an octopus, a lioness and a mother hen. hehe. =D Thank God for each and everyone one of you. Thank YOU for making my week, when I totally lost it during SMAD, so touched, cos of everything that has been happening through the week. Thank YOU for making me feel so loved, and so thoroughly appreciated. :) It was a tremendous encouragement.
Thank YOU girls, thank YOU for being a part of my life. :)
Thank God for Jon, who's always by my side to comfort, and give me a hug when I need it most. But God, I still don't quite know why all these has to happen within a span of one week. Why God? What do you want me to learn in this crazily emotional week?
Wednesday, March 28, 2007 @2:53 PM
Hmmm... Yesterday at Jimmy and Monika's place, as we were just talking and sharing... this was something that struck me.
Don’t insist on changing one another, but allow God to change you, to grow you first, before you encourage, help and complement one another.
... with regards to Jon and I. I guess this is really how the triangle analogy translates into words.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007 @3:37 PM
huge load off my shouldersWhat a day. Thank God for a fruitful tutorial though. After analysing the poems and all for race tutorial, I kinda felt dizzy. And had a paper to edit to submit at 3pm. After submitting the paper, I'm still seeing stars. I think my brain's totally fried. Can't really think anymore. And I didn't really stay up late to finish up my race paper. In fact, I slept and woke up this morning to complete it, so I should be real tired. But I've got no idea what is sapping up so much of my brain juices.
Trying to take a break, and rest before I continue with the Soci of Power paper. I feel like an essay-churning machine. Talk about capitalism, and how I (or rather, my parents) pay to allow the university to sap up all my energy. According to the Marxist, the university, as a capitalist entity, alienates me altogether from my work. Paying the big bucks to suffer under the loads of essays. What ever happened to real education. Maybe it doesn't exist. Maybe the university is MERELY a true-blue capitalist machine that consumerizes knowledge!
Oh boy, race done, social psych done, now only power left. Then I can take a few days of break to do bible and christianity.
Am I so sure that I should do honours?
Hmmm...
Monday, March 26, 2007 @2:48 PM
Yea we cooked! :)So we thought cooking was pretty de-stressing, so we cooked! :) Pasta in alfredo, with salmon and garlic herb sausages. With mushroom simmered with spices.
Being busy kinda stresses the both of us up, so it's a good way to unwind.
There's just so many things to think about. Especially after seeing the 2 couples in our pre-marital counselling going through so much preparation for their wedding, and their to-be-married lives. It's kinda frightening. Makes me wonder whether all the hard work is actually worth it cos it's suppose to be me and my partner's day. Oh well, wait till it happens, then things will just happen I guess. :)
Bon apetit!
*Oh yes, did I mention, there's a nice french salad and sandwich cafe at vivocity. It's really good and the chefs and servers and french too! And quite good looking too. Right min? hehe.
Sunday, March 25, 2007 @12:00 AM
TiredI'm so tired of writing essays, reading articles for research, explaining things, arranging stuff, wearing masks, being emotional, unpleasant surprises, rejecting people, scheduling. Everything. I'm just so tired. So tired I wish I could just sleep through everything. God, I try to run on Your strength, but why does it still seem so tiring?
I feel like I don't really know myself. I feel like I'm another person altogher, living in the same shell. I'm coping, I guess, and it's not really school work that's bothering me so much. I remember the book Kevin lent me months ago about wearing masks, but I just keep meeting new people, so I can't really pull a long and tired face and say 'buzz off'. I have to put on a wide smile, and greet them wholeheartedly. Then after that I'm pretty disgusted by myself at my 'fakeness'. So how to resolve that? I guess the joy really has to come from inside, from God.
But as hard as I may try, to gather my joy from the Lord, gather my strength from God, emotions still well up. Maybe because all these emotions are in a mess and needs to be sorted out. And all these emotions make me really tired. I want to surrender them to You, I want I want! I can't let them swell up within me anymore. I need to spend extended time with You, just You, and noone else. I need You, to sort out my thoughts, to sort out my emotions. I know You hear me, and I'll be still and listen to You. Draw me close to You, give me the joy that comes from You, this is my prayer...
You say in Your Word, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) Maybe that's what I need, rest. REST.
This is kinda way overdue, but anyhow, just felt like posting happy pictures.
Sharon and I at Sam and Kuanmei's wedding. :)
Cell group girls at the wedding with the pretty lilies! :)
Us with Esther! The ang-pao lady. Pretty sister of the groom.
Us with Aunty Nancy! A very loving mother.
They're married! =)I remember Sam saying how when they walked into the bridal shop, the lady thought they were looking for prom suits and dresses. haha.
Soci buddy cum evil best man. hee.
I hope we can find this joy again, in each other, and in God...
On a lighter note, Touch '07! It was enjoyable with all the AC people around. :) Thank God for AC musicians, MEPers and non-MEPers.
5 generations of ACJC MEP played!!! =) Ain't it cool?
Mr Moe. One of the more talented pianist from AC, and a senior!
ACJC MEP CLASS OF 2004 @ Touch '07. =)
I want to find rest in You.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007 @1:08 PM
My Freshman Dg :)
It has almost been a year of discipling them. Thank God for my girls that they are talkative. hehe. Though they're all unique in their own ways, I thank God that they have been able to more or less relate to one another. Thank God for faithful disciples who come every week! Still learning how to be a more effective SM, and praying that God will work in the lives of my disciples, growing closer to Him each day.
What a random post, maybe because ministry for this acad year is gonna end soon, thank God for ST and Staff team, P Comm, really learnt a lot from you guys, especially Gail and Li En, for leading the comm.
This shows that exams are coming real soon, and datelines for my papers are next week! Mon - Race and ethniciy, Wed - Social Psych, Fri - Sociology of Power. Oh, and Bible and Christianity test on Mon too. OH boy, can't wait for next week to pass. I need God to multiply my time again!
Saturday, March 03, 2007 @10:33 PM
Beautiful SaviorThe God I know is a faithful God, really!
Beautiful Saviour by Planetshakers.
Jesus, Beautiful Saviour,
God of all Majesty,
Risen king,
Lamb of God,
Holy and righteous,
Blessed redeemer,
Bright morning star
All the heavens shout your praise,
All creation bow to worship You
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Name above every name, exalted high
How wonderful, how beautiful,
Jesus your name, name above every name, Jesus
I will sing forever, Jesus I love you, Jesus I love you
