Sunday, March 25, 2007 @12:00 AM
TiredI'm so tired of writing essays, reading articles for research, explaining things, arranging stuff, wearing masks, being emotional, unpleasant surprises, rejecting people, scheduling. Everything. I'm just so tired. So tired I wish I could just sleep through everything. God, I try to run on Your strength, but why does it still seem so tiring?
I feel like I don't really know myself. I feel like I'm another person altogher, living in the same shell. I'm coping, I guess, and it's not really school work that's bothering me so much. I remember the book Kevin lent me months ago about wearing masks, but I just keep meeting new people, so I can't really pull a long and tired face and say 'buzz off'. I have to put on a wide smile, and greet them wholeheartedly. Then after that I'm pretty disgusted by myself at my 'fakeness'. So how to resolve that? I guess the joy really has to come from inside, from God.
But as hard as I may try, to gather my joy from the Lord, gather my strength from God, emotions still well up. Maybe because all these emotions are in a mess and needs to be sorted out. And all these emotions make me really tired. I want to surrender them to You, I want I want! I can't let them swell up within me anymore. I need to spend extended time with You, just You, and noone else. I need You, to sort out my thoughts, to sort out my emotions. I know You hear me, and I'll be still and listen to You. Draw me close to You, give me the joy that comes from You, this is my prayer...
You say in Your Word, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) Maybe that's what I need, rest. REST.
This is kinda way overdue, but anyhow, just felt like posting happy pictures.
Sharon and I at Sam and Kuanmei's wedding. :)
Cell group girls at the wedding with the pretty lilies! :)
Us with Esther! The ang-pao lady. Pretty sister of the groom.
Us with Aunty Nancy! A very loving mother.
They're married! =)I remember Sam saying how when they walked into the bridal shop, the lady thought they were looking for prom suits and dresses. haha.
Soci buddy cum evil best man. hee.
I hope we can find this joy again, in each other, and in God...
On a lighter note, Touch '07! It was enjoyable with all the AC people around. :) Thank God for AC musicians, MEPers and non-MEPers.
5 generations of ACJC MEP played!!! =) Ain't it cool?
Mr Moe. One of the more talented pianist from AC, and a senior!
ACJC MEP CLASS OF 2004 @ Touch '07. =)
I want to find rest in You.
