Thanks puss-in-boots for hearing me out. It's times like these where I wish I had someone sitting before me, to be praying together with me, but it seemed unlikely that you were going to be the one. Staring at the mess in front of me makes me tired, really tired. All the TKGS, ACJC yearbooks, all the lecture notes from previous NUS semesters, all the classical CDs, Christian CDs, classic novels, Christian literature. Having to pack all these makes me tired. More emotionally tired rather than physically tired.
Times like these I wish there was someone there to talk to me, to hold my hand and pray with me. Perhaps You're teaching me to run to You. Perhaps You're showing me the way. If You are, show me clearly. If he's not the one, tell me. If he's the one, show me.
Was a tearful moment as I shared with puss-in-boots what has been going on since I came back. I wish you weren't the one judging me, complaining about me in front of my parents, and then asking me, "how to win them to Christ?" I wish you weren't the one who was praying for me to not be so excited about missions. I wish I wish, but it has all happened. So God, where are you leading me to? One year, one year, I will seek, I will ask, I will find, and God I trust You will show.
Puss-in-boots once again reminded me to pray, to fast, to seek, to ask. And I will.
